Welcoming myself back to the blogging world

It's been 2 years now since my last post... The complexities of technology had put me off. Blogspot can now (or been a few years now) be updated via email or multiply and other digital platforms and it's kind of confusing i must admit. I didn’t realize that I have set an automatic synchronization between Multiply and Blogspot… and then Facebook took over communication! And so, i purposely stopped blogging other than the fact that i realised that most of my blogs were hardly anything of substance (after browsing through blogs i have posted since 2004). I have also just recovered my log-in and password that has been neglected due to lack of interest.

So many things have changed... so many digital platforms have emerged. I remember, Facebook was not existing when i started blogging in 2004. Most of my friends and colleagues were laughing at me because i keep a blog and they couldn’t relate.... well, things are different now and hardly anyone has no blog. So i thought, why not revive and continue writing my thoughts - be it substantial, intelligent or totally hollow. Who cares! It's my space anyway.

I just finished doing a shoot. Well, not me doing the shoot exactly but shooting alongside Gerry O'Leary - one of the most brilliant photographer i have met. I call his work 'intelligent photography'. The creative brilliance that Gerry has allows him to see details that most self proclaimed excellent photographers do not see. I cannot really divulge his secrets (and not that I know them all anyway) but I am just happy to have known Gerry and get to see his work. The final result is always a masterpiece I must say! On the human side, Gerry is not only a great photographer but also a world-class individual who shares many professional insights. His feedback and ideas are like water to my budding ideas and very own insights.

Most of the restaurants were to be shot in the evening to give them better personalities and warmth and so we have been dining afterwards too! That messed up my supposed to be ‘cutting down on food’. To wrap up the days of hard work, we went for dinner at Benjarong where we had fried prawns with tamarind sauce, baby crabs with ginger sauce and green seafood curry. The food were exquisite. The baby crabs with shell was a delightful surprise! I thought in the beginning it was going to be weird to eat crabs with shell but the shell actually just felt like crispy batter and it was just delicious! A must order again next time.

This is the entrance to Benjarong. This picture taken from my iphone does not do justice to the warm and welcoming ambience of the restaurant. The interior is very much reflective of that of typical Thai residences in the countryside and perhaps years ago in the city as well. I will post the final image taken by Gerry next time for a more visually engaging picture.

On Adam Lambert

I can't believe i'm so drawn to Adam Lambert. I watch American Idol but i'm not really that big of a fan... to me, yes it is a great show but i don't look forward to it, i don't try to stay up late just to watch it.. During the previous seasons, i would only enjoy watching the wacky contestants and when the show gets more serious i would withdraw from it. This time, for the 8th season, it's also the same... but when i saw and heard Adam perform Black or White (while i was busy preparing to leave for a friend's birthday celebration, so i didn't get to see the start of it), he got me really interested! The night before the announcement, he performed Mad World... WOWW!! fabulous is an understatement.. he is extremely great!! Great to the max!! There's something about him that makes you want to see him perform again and again! A real artist A-Z, voice, creativity on stage, looks - perfect. indeed an icon as Paula Abdul puts it.

For the very first time, i'm looking forward to buying an album of someone from American Idol!! I look forward to playing the CD again and again!!

I also like Kris Allen.. he's cute, shy type, very likeable, If i need to just relax and have an easy drive, i would put on Kriss Allen's music. Adam's music gets deeper into your emotion.. it gives you energy.

Oh Adam... you're such an amazing creation!

Self Reminders

Popular quotes i read on posters, cards and books often catch my attention and never leave me. I am not much into long readings but when i was a lot younger with better memory, i always catch myself repeating beautiful quotes i read around me and applying them to my every day life. I still remember the first time i read 'HAPPINESS IS A WAY OF TRAVEL NOT A DESTINATION' by Helen Keller. It saw it on a poster at Greenbelt National Bookstore. I was in highschool then spending my summer vacation in Manila. It opened my eyes a great deal! We always, tell ourselves, 'someday i'll have this... someday i'll do this.. someday...' it's always someday as if we can't do anything in our 'today' to do something that can already contribute to that bigger picture we have in our 'someday'.... as if we can't find happiness in our 'today'.. why does it have to be someday? why does it have to be 'tomorrow'? And so, by living the quote I never had a wasted time in my life - all the ups and downs have been 'felt' and 'enjoyed'.. thanking God for all those feelings He allowed me to feel to make my journey here on earth a rich experience. Indeed, happiness is not a destination... happiness is a way of travel - it is how we live our lives.

Helen Keller's quote serves as a reminder so i can always enjoy my present status and so i can live my life in gratefulness. The more i acknowledge God's blessings in my every day life, the more blessings i receive.

I live in gratefulness - that is how i live my life... that is how i travel through life. That's how i feel God's blessings.

Out of this favourite quote of mine... i was able to come up with my own self reminders... Something worth sharing.

Our present is our yesterday's tomorrow. Today is our tomorrow's yesterday. Make sure that the things you do in your 'today' will have the result you want to see in your 'tomorrow'. So that when your 'tomorrow' becomes your 'today', you'll be happy living in it.

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Blessed are those who find joy in the every day occurence of their lives for they don't have to long for happiness because they are living in it.

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Live a day that gets you closer to your dreams.

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I'm always grateful for the things i have achieved through God's grace but i never say i'm done.

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Gain control over your life. Life is yours to shape. Let others shape theirs and yours you.

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People who have bitter pasts, find happiness in their imagination of the future... but why imagine when you can make it a reality? Start living a happy 'today' so that when your 'future' becomes the 'present', you can then close your eyes and also find happiness in the 'past'.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO ALL

"The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, it is felt by the heart" - Helen Keller!

Let's fill the air with love! Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Personal Perception

This story is very self explanatory…. Simple yet very striking. It’s very true that often we listen to people’s negative comments around us and we sometimes find ourselves adjusting our actions, interests and lifestyles according to other people’s way of thinking. Too often, we forget to realize that they do not live our lives hence, we shouldn’t allow them to lead it either.

Other people’s perception of what’s ‘in’ or ‘out’, what’s cool and not are measured according to their standards and their experiences. They are not to judge us if we enjoy doing things that they don’t and vice versa. Is spending quiet time at home their idea of ‘losers’, well maybe because they don’t have love ones to come home to…. Some people prefer to be out with friends all the time, maybe because that’s where they find happiness but it doesn’t mean that you cannot be happy when you’re alone…

Read the story and love the lesson.

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PERSONAL PERCEPTION

Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home,a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?" Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The
husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.

Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman." The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the
husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders. It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future. Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear.

3 more to go!!

At last, my first major exam is over! Praise God! I'm so happy right now...i'm feeling so light ... and even my husband told me that i'm glowing. Well, who wouldn't be? It's another achievement! After almost a week of thorough study, going from one page to another and back again to check if the information absorption has been successful and actually retained in my head.. then try to answer past sample questionnaires to test my comprehension and composition ability, whew!! WHEW!! - that's the first thing i could say. As i have mentioned in my earlier blog, i have not been on studies for 10 years now and going back to text books again is difficult. Praise God for going through the journey with me. I really felt His presence every step of the way.

In this exam, we were not allowed to write our names on our booklet, only the ID number. I didn't know that there was already an allocated desk for each one of us. I just comfortable sat on the desk that i selected. I didn't know that there would be an ID number on top of each desk that should match ours. Then later on, we were told to make sure that the number on the desk matches our ID numbers. When i checked it, I was surprised to have actually sat on the desk with my corresponding CIM student number on it without having to look for it... no wondering some people took some time in selecting their desk... I just smiled upon knowing that i actually sat on the desk that was intended for me. Hmm... looks like it's just gonna get better :-)

The exam took 3 hours. Started sharp at 9.30am and finished sharp at 12.30. It was 3 hours of non-stop writing. Every answer was written in 'report' style. There was hardly enough time to write all the answers let alone pause and recall information. So it was important that the information/answers flow while you write.

It was a different experience again.. it's like being in school but i have never been this nervous at all in my entire school days. I guess because during that time, i was still oblivious of the consequences.. but this time i'm more concerned and involved. Well.. well.. 3 more to go next year!!! It's exciting yet nerve wrecking - but that's what life is made of... different emotions. That's what makes our life richer and more fulfilling.

God allowed yet another beautiful happening to take place in my life. I'm forever grateful.

Then and Now

This blog entry was written on 1st October 2005. Looking back i realised that this entry reflected so much pain... This was the time when i was alone in Dubai and my husband was in Manila. This was the time when i felt like i was carrying some of the heaviest loads on my shoulders... as if there's nothing i could do but to go on because there was no other choice... and no one else i could count on to carry the burdens for me. My only refuge was God. He is so faithful that He helped me go through those trying times. I know, we all have to go through some kind of 'process' to shape us and let us be the best person we can be.

I have changed, the process worked. I have grown so much more in spirit and in fellowship.

then & now
Nostalgia engulfed me...
Saw a recent post from my long time friend and i felt like i was taken back to the good old times when everything was just a blur and vagueness of what really life was all about. Time when old folks would tell me about life but wouldn't get the whole picture of what it really was... i would nod and pretend to understand it all. It was a time of clean fun, school, projects, crushes and friends. It was the age of innocence and simple things.
We're less oblivious now of the world around us. We've grown up, learned valuable lessons, able to think and ponder on what's important... but couldn't free our minds with worries. Sometimes i ask myself, why would children wish they were grown ups and grown ups would wish they were kids? Can we not have it all? Have the power to rule and decide like the grown ups and yet have the innocence of the young?
Reality bites...
... and fate forces us to be stronger and never face defeat.
How much strength do i need? ...to face everyday's challenges.
How many more games do we have to play? to pretend we're ok...
How many more thoughts do we have to run in our minds?...until we can settle with one.
How many more stars do we have to reach?... to be contented.
How many more vacations do we have to take? ... to unwind and free our minds, only to be cluttered again afterwards.
How many more questions do we have to answer?... to be satisfied.
How many more roads do we have to take? ... until we find ourselves.
How many more places do we have to go to?... 'til we rest and say, i'm done!
I wish things were simpler..... I wish i have more choices other than 'choose from the existing choices or not to choose'
Life's complexities - it's a GIFT OF TIME...
i guess i just have to enjoy it.
Today is a gift...
keep the fight.... fight the battle!
After all i'm still blessed to live the life i'm living right now...
October 01, 2005